the second draft

My professor Stephanie Rowden, a sound and story extraordinaire, asked me to write out the 5 things a listener should know about this story. She also suggested looking for the 7 best pieces of recordings. What do these recordings show? For example the New Years recording shows Mrs. Johnston's humor, that she's about to turn 100 years old, and that there are two people in this moment.

So I thought about these 5 things.

-There are two people in an intimate relationship, Brenda and Mrs. Johnston. 

-Mrs. Johnston will celebrate her 100 birthday.

-Brenda takes care of Mrs. Johnston in her hometown neighborhood, where her parents still live next door to Mrs. Johnston.

-Mrs. Johnston wants to live at her house. She doesn't always understand why she needs help, although she is grateful for it.  

So after Kyle Norris's visit I went back to writing another draft. I actually didn't change too much, but in the future I'll try to mix up the arrangement and choices of the recordings.  



Melissa Allison, a radio producer and another audio extraordinaire, spoke with me and my professor via the internet on Wednesday. She listened to my second draft for the audio portrait and responded to the work. She was concerned that Mrs. Johnston's voice was lacking in the draft. Some of the details in the recording was not necessary, such as the details of Brenda's injury. She thought I could  switch between the documentary moments and the descriptions of the story.